New Movie, ?Hope Springs:? Two Thumbs Way Up | Psychology Today

Finally! A movie about a subject no Hollywood film has ever tackled?a thirty-year marriage that has lost its spark and devolved into sexlessness. But ?Hope Springs? is no grim slog through spousal recriminations. It?s a hilarious comedy sure to tickle your funny bone while it raises serious relationship issues. Bonus: If you?re looking to get lucky on a date, this movie is a very good bet.

In ?Hope Springs,? Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) play a sixty-something Omaha couple. He?s a penny-pinching accountant and she works in a dress shop. They sleep in separate bedrooms and can?t recall the last time they had sex.

Kay wants to change that. She wants a ?real marriage,? and drags her reluctant, wise-cracking husband to Great Hope Springs, Maine, a picturesque village where a prominent marital/sex therapist (Steve Carell) offers week-long intensive couples counseling. Streep and Jones are both terrific portraying characters torn by their struggle to re-establish the intimacy they?ve lost, and Carell plays the therapist realistically and compassionately.

?Hope Springs? is only film I?m aware of to focus on sexless marriage. Its characters are older adults, but couples of all ages can slip into sexlessness. According to the landmark ?Sex in America Survey,? about 2 percent of married adults never have sex, and 12 percent are sexual only a few times a year. So, for argument?s sake, let?s say that 5 percent of couples rarely or ever do it. That?s one couple in twenty, so pretty much everyone knows people in this situation.

Kay and Arnold love each other, but they?ve forgotten how to show it. Her longing for renewed intimacy?both physical and emotional?is achingly poignant. His reluctance to rock the boat of celibate emotional withdrawal also rings true, as do the embarrassment and resentments they both eventually express in therapy. The script maintains a light touch, but clearly depicts what it?s like to fall deep into a marital rut and the difficulties of climbing out.

The film also portrays sex therapy remarkably realistically. Outcome studies show that two-thirds of couples who try it report significant benefit, and Kay and Arnold eventually join their ranks. I tip my hat to the writer and director.

But ?Hope Springs? is much more than a case study for therapists-in-training. It?s a delightful comedy with several scenes that are hilarious. If couple counseling is a bitter pill, the sweetness of ?Hope Springs? makes it easy to swallow. Without spoiling anything, just let me say that when Kay and Arnold go to the movies, the comic result rivals Meg Ryan?s simulated orgasm in ?When Harry Met Sally.? Finally, I guarantee that the film?s double ending will leave you smiling.

In sexless or near-sexless marriages, sometimes the woman wants things to change, while other times, it?s the man. But if Arnold had dragged Kay to therapy, it would have been too easy to dismiss him as just another horny guy trying to get laid. With the prim, prudish Kay motivating the action, these characters become an Everycouple yearning for a more fulfilling relationship both in and out of bed.

No matter how old you are or what kind of relationship you have, ?Hope Springs? provides emotionally nourishing food for thought. And if you?ve been wondering how to raise issues in your own relationship, this movie is a great discussion-starter. But as I watched the audience exit the theater, I saw an unusual amount of snuggling ? and got the distinct impression that when those couples got home, many were going to do more than just talk. Two thumbs way up.

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Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201208/new-movie-hope-springs-two-thumbs-way

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